Stockholm

Thank you so much for darning my favorite sweater.

It looks like I am going to need it .

I had tea with the group yesterday. 

They’re a little upset with our lifestyle, my love. 

I know that they can be a little overbearing,

but the pool of English speakers in Stockholm

who are willing to hang out with Americans,

is not that big.

So, you can’t wear makeup anymore. 

The historical trauma inflicted on test-animals

by the cosmetic industry is just too much for

Maja, Elsa, and Astrid to bare.

Elsa promises to teach you the

lip bruising technique with those

sharpened stones she uses.

Nils gave me a stern talking to about my use of commercial deodorant.

I’ll have to give it up and start using one of those mineral crystals.

I hope you can live with the funky, oniony, dirty gym locker thing.

And, no more Secret for you. 

I’ll have to get used to your sweaty feather smell.   

Also, they would appreciate it if we adopted their mode of dress,

the minimally processed, colorless wool and burlap togs, same for footwear.

I am afraid you’ll have to dispose of your heels and handbags. 

Astrid finds them offensive - the patriarchy and what have you.

She offered to will help you break them down and recycle the materials.

She also offered to take you to the Sturegallerian so that you can get fitted

for coarse woolen bras and panties.

As long as we make some significant progress in these areas,

We are still invited on the sailing trip.

I am sure that despite the gail, it will be a beautiful cruise around the Baltic

with all our new friends.

Nils says that we are going to make some stops near the shoreline

to forage sea snails for supper.

I know you were a little nervous about it, but don’t worry,

he’s pretty sure he knows how to remove the neurotoxin sacs from them.

We’ll get to bunk together in the boat,

I’m looking forward to that, it’s going to be cozy,

Of course, because we’re new to the group,

we’ll be tasked with pumping out the bilge. 

Nils says this has to been done by hand every hour or so through the night

to keep from sinking. 

In the morning we’re going to sail out to an oil platform,

and lash ourselves to the footings. 

It will be chilly, but Nils insists that we’re all naked for the protest. 

He’s arranged a helicopter to film it.