I’m Just Really Into Your Nose

It was their second date.  They were meeting at a coffee shop near where they both worked.  Their first date had gone very well.  They had a felt an easiness and playfulness with one another that lead into some intense making out and heavy petting after the light dinner they shared.  They had gone to her apartment.  She had warned him there would be no sex before he came over.  He was content with kissing and touching. And when things were getting a little hot and heavy, like a gentleman, he offered to leave before it went too far.  Good idea she said, but let’s get together soon.  They agreed to meet the following day, mid morning, for coffee.  There they were at a small table that dipped a half inch from time to time on one side because of the uneven floor, bright sunshine streaming through the windows, steaming bowls of cappuccino in front of them, the foam shaded with cinnamon. 

So what are you into? She asked.  For the first time she saw he was a little uncomfortable, he coughed and looked around, making sure that nearby patrons weren’t actively listening to their conversation. 

“I was dating this girl.  We hit it off.  I really thought that we had love at first sight.  I think it was for me.  Anyway, we had been dating for a few months, we were talking about moving in together, and she told me she wanted something weird.  I like to think I’m pretty open to stuff, so I told her to tell me, I’d probably do it.  She was very matter of fact about the whole thing.  She wanted me to tongue her nostrils.  I was a little surprised, not going to lie, but it could certainly be worse.  What if she was into stepping on genitalia with high heels?   In a way I felt like I was getting off easy.  I was crazy about her, so I said, you know what baby, let’s give at whirl, why the hell not?  So we started kissing, normal kissing, a little tongue play, nothing too intense.  My lips moved up from hers.  She moaned with anticipation.  I liked the response, so I kept going.  I started just kissing around her nose.  I was kind of teasing the next step, kinda working up the courage to put my tongue in her nose hole.  I started pushing the tip of tongue in, and kind of wiggling it a little.  She started going crazy.  We had had sex before, she never made sounds like she did when my tongue was in her nose.  She was wild, shrieking and furiously, almost angrily masterbating herself… 

And then it happened.  I don’t know how or why, but I came in my pants, and when I say I came, that’s an understatement.  It was the most colossal orgasm of my entire life.  I blasted out into the cosmos and was lost in a sort of infinite bliss for what felt like a wonderfully long time.  It didn’t stop.  There was a series of blissful peaks, each drawing more and more cum from deep within my balls.  I had to throw the pants away.  It was as if I poured a pint of heavy cream into them.  That was it.  I was ruined.  There was no going back.  I became what I am today, a nose guy.”

“Why aren’t you guys still together?  You found each other.”

“I know, that’s what I thought.  Only, I guess it wasn’t that special for her.  I guess she could get a lot of guys to do it.   And maybe the power of my orgasm and the bucket of cum freaked her out.  Anyway, she ghosted me after.  It kinda broke me.  I went to some pretty dark places for a couple of years.  I felt pretty isolated, and like I was stuck with this weird fetish.  I felt like no one would want to be with me.  It was hard to start dating again.  But, I found a whole Reddit on it.  There’s like a community of us online.  It’s something that’s starting to be more recognized.  One of the guys, a regular contributor to the page, it turns out he’s an indie film maker.  He’s got a movie coming out this fall that’s going to have a nose scene.  We’re all really excited about it because the nose porn out there is too extreme.”

“How do you feel about nose rings?” She asked 

“Ugh.” He replied. “Why mutilate something so beautiful? That’s like putting a sticker on a Rebrandt painting.”  

“I was thinking of getting my nose pierced”

“Oh please don’t.  You have such beautiful nose holes!  The shape of the opening is so perfect, perfect for a tongue.  Would you lift your chin just a bit? I’d like to admire that symmetry…” she lifted her head hesitantly, and he let out a feral groan. 

“I’ve got a strange request.  Do you think I could…. I know this is a little forward, but would you mind terribly if I were to take an up the nose photo of you?”  

“Are you going to like jerk off to it later?”

“Yes.” 

“Cool.  Ok”

He took a large SLR camera with a giant lens out of his backpack and polished the camera lens with a cloths. 

“So,” he said, stiffening in his pants. “Tell me about your routine.”

“What routine?”

“Your daily nostril care. It is clearly superb.”

“I mean, I don’t really do anything, inside my nose, maybe rinse a little in the shower.”

“Ok.  Wow.  That’s gross.  You really need to make sure your nose hygiene is correct.  It’s a gateway to your body.  If it’s not clean, your not healthy.  Tell me you’re going to an ear, nose, and throat specialist at least twice a year.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to one.”

“Ok, well I’ll give you my doctor’s contact info.  She’s one of the best specialists in the country.  I’ll put in a word for you.”

“Wait, but I mean how come nose hygiene is important for you.  I mean, I get why it’s important for your partner to have it. Are you like into receiving in the nose too?” 

“That’s a good question. To be honest, I’ve never considered it. I always thought of myself as a giver in this scenario. After how hard I blew my load after getting up in that hole for the first time, I couldn’t think of much else.”

“Would you want to try?”

“Are you offering to tongue my nostril?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, this just isn’t gonna work for me.”

“Don’t be selfish!”

“…?”

“You just told me about this amazing orgasm you had.  I want to see what it’s all about.  You know, maybe she left you because you wouldn’t reciprocate.”

“Oh God, I think you’re right. 

“…”

“I sorry, I must go to her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Now!”