FOR TRANSLATION

To:           Walker-Talker Pitch of Crow Nation

From:   Nsonowa Ollennu, Secretary General of United Nations

To the most honorary and esteemed ambassador of the Crow Nation.  It is with great regret that I inform you that your application for admission to the General Assembly is denied.  Following a thorough review by the Security Council, the admission of the Crow Nation was put for a vote.  The application did not receive the requisite nine votes.  It is my belief that the United States used its considerable influence among council members to bring about this outcome. 

As the Security Council consultation on this matter was held in private, I wish to share some of the background regarding this decision and in the process persuade you and the Nation to continue your efforts in seeking statehood in the hopes that a future application will be successful.

We were all taken aback by the sudden development of Crow Nations.  It is unprecedented to see such rapid development.  It was the technologies of the Crow Nation that sensationalized these developments and brought broader attention.  Your nation’s forges and smelting of aluminum is, to us, nothing short of miraculous.  An awareness of these developments did not emerge in the United States or more broadly in the international community until your nation broke out into armed conflict.  It is an unfortunate characteristic of history, a history of affairs that you now share in, that technological development is often inextricably linked to war efforts. 

We became aware of your development and that of Raven Nation when massive arial battles started to erupt between your nations.  We had no idea of the enmity.  Many of us continue to struggle to understand the origin of it and how it may be resolved.  The conflict probably would have been something passively observed had it not been for the collateral damage.  My use of the term ‘passively observe’ might suggest a lack of interest, and nothing could be further from the truth.  We marvel at the feats of arial maneuvering during the combat by turns a formal joust complete with armor and lances, and then chaotic dogfight with air launched ordinance.  When your fallen armored soldiers and those of your foes began to rain from the skies in our more populated areas, it was devastating.  There were significant loses of innocent civilian lives.  In light of which, it would be inconsiderate to even mention the vast property damage.   

The UN does not condone such reckless disregard of life.  However, we do acknowledge the toll of human conduct on the lives of your nation historically, as well as the devastating impacts of human activity upon your habitats.  We are proud that this body spear-headed an effort internationally to extend the protections of the criminal law to your Nation.  These efforts are ongoing. 

Although your nation has set up a sizable presence and indeed its seat of government in Danville, Illinois, it is not settled that this is exclusively Crow Nation territory.  There are many displaced people with claims that they were forced from their homes and businesses.  We recognize that Crow Nation’s roosting history in Danville predates the U.S. presence by millennia.  That being said, the Nation’s territorial claims are complicated by nearly two hundred years of human habitation in the area.  As you know, the carving of nations from the existing geography of a nation is a fraught business that often leads to armed conflict.  We are hopeful that this can be avoided.  We hope that there will be a negotiated settlement to your Nation’s territorial aspirations.  It is not unprecedented, Vatican City comes to mind.  Although the history of Native American reservations is bound up in genocide, some of the legal framework, establishing sovereignty and separate legal jurisdictions, may be useful in arriving at a settlement.  All of this is to say that your application for recognition can only be enhanced if there is some agreement relative to your territory.

This point dovetails with the next and more contentious one.  The hostilities between your Nation and Raven Nation must come to an end.  Human history may be illuminating to you.  Broadly speaking in our history there are those wars that are necessary to contain or stop an aggressor.  A nation or group intent on disrupting the order of things or seizing territory for their own gain at the expense of others.  This type is relatively rare and are widely viewed as necessary.  By contrast, we have had enumerable wars for reasons that defy logic, reason, or even common sense.  We have had wars over differing views of essentially the same religion, for example.  It is with great regret that we look back on the loss of life for those wars in which nothing tangible was accomplished.  I suggest to you that Crow Nation and Raven Nation many years from now will look back on the hostilities with such regret.  Furthermore, the ongoing war is an impediment to your continued development, aspirations for statehood, and the commencement of more formal diplomatic relations and all of the benefits that flow with that recognition. 

I worry that I have come across as a scold.  That is not my intention.  Unfortunately, newcomers to the arena of world affairs can feel excluded by and looked down upon by the more established powers.  The internation community is just that, a community, and I am confident that Crow Nation will continue to be an important part of the community.  I am likewise confident that if the issues of hostilities and territory can be resolved, the Crow Nation will enjoy more formal recognition by the international community.     

Yours Most Humbly,

Nsonowa Ollennu